Last Sunday, we had news helicopters hovering overhead, creating more of a disturbance of the peace than the current political demonstration that they were so eager to cover. On top of which, Oscar is letting the whole neighbourhood know about it. So much for an afternoon siesta. I stumble out into the living room.
– “Oh for crying out loud, what is it now?”
– “Some protestants are manifesting.”
Whut? For a second, I get a mental vision of Episcopalians appearing out of nowhere like hordes of zombies. Then it clicks. She’s done a literal translation from French to English, resulting in something akin to a freaky Google translation.
– “You mean, some protesters are demonstrating.”
– “Yeah yeah, dat,” she says impatiently.
Right. I put the kettle on.
-“What’s it about this time?”
I say this time because there’s always something being protested in Montreal. I’m surprised there isn’t an Institute for Demonstrations. You can probably Major in it at UQAM.
Of course Yvette knew what was going on. She’s always up on local news. She can tell you the name of the judge presiding over any big case, which tv or radio show host just got a new show, and how far away from an election we are on any given day. (Canadians can call an election at the drop of a hat. It seems to be something of a national pastime.) Oh, and the local weather forecast. She’s really very handy to have around.
– “You know, dat law dat da government wants to pass. About da veil.”
I stare at her blankly. She sighs and fills me in. It’s the same debate going on in France. Only here the government made the crap-tacular mistake of insisting that their “secular bill” would not extend to include ‘traditional’ Quebec cultural symbols such as the Catholic crucifix, which is prominently displayed above the Speaker’s chair in the National Assembly, no less.
-“Christ on a crumpet. And these people are running the state? I mean, province? …whatever, you know what I mean.”
– “You better start studying for dat citizenship exam.”
I ignore this and sip my tea.
– “Well, I suppose all that fresh air and exercise won’t hurt.” Now that I live in a country with nationalized healthcare, I think about these things.
Then she shows me a photo from a news site and I almost spill my tea. It’s a couple of women wearing the Quebec flag as a hijab, and grinning from ear to ear. You have to hand it to them for this genius marketing move. What better way to deflect criticism? How can anyone get mad at them for proudly wearing the flag? Especially when they so closely resemble a crowd of revellers on St Jean Baptiste Day (Quebec’s National Holiday)? Well played.
Frankly, once the snow hits, everyone in Quebec with an ounce of sense will be wearing the equivalent of a hijab or niqab in the form of a toque (cap), scarf and coat.
